HSPs: Reframe & Rewire
Coaches and therapists work with many HSPs in their practices. After all, we are the ones who have a “hard time coping.” We are the ones who suffer from anxiety, depression, fear, panic attacks, and so on. Whatever the symptoms, whatever the source, whatever the diagnosis, in the end it’s always about getting to the root of the so-called problem . . . the emotional reasons, the logical rationalizations, the story’s context, behind whatever is going on that has caused you to seek help.
What’s glaringly missing from any psychological (and emotional) approach is the impact of what is actually behind that story, reason, rationalization, or context. Because, once you remove the labels and diagnoses, the stories and histories, you’re left with trends that can be expressed and described in altogether different terms. When you do that, you’re offering the HSP an entirely new way to perceive themselves and interface with the world.
The top 20 “problems” that high-functioning HSPs face
- Believing you are crazy
- Depression
- Anxiety/Panic attacks
- Being told you are both too much and not enough: too emotional, not rational/logical enough; too intense, not able to relax; too sensitive, not strong enough, etc.
- Inability to trust yourself
- Inability to trust others
- Defensiveness (and fear that if you let down your defenses you’ll never survive)
- Fear of being wrong
- Overwhelmed in many situations, like crowds, but also when you’re alone, and sometimes for no apparent reason at all. Need to withdraw. Overwhelmed by strong sensory input, like light, scents, fabrics, sound
- Feeling you need to hide what you feel
- Feeling you need to hide what you know
- Feeling you need to hide what you see
- Feeling you need to hide what you believe
- Feeling you need to hide what you feel
- Feeling you need to hide what you hear
- Feeling you need to hide what you experience
- Fear of being “discovered; uncovered; exposed”
- Avoidance of situations where you feel you might be uncomfortable, that might be “too much” for you to handle
- Higher sensitivity to physical pain compared to others
- Trouble sleeping; propensity for illness on all scales (from allergic reactions to chronic conditions)
A Revolutionary New Approach
I’m not saying that psychotherapy doesn’t help or can’t help. I have benefitted myself in the past. Still, no one ever said to me anything that sounded like, “Your sensitivities are not the problem. You are not the problem. You don’t need fixing. What you do need is a different way to navigate the world using the very sensitivities you believe—and have been assured—are undermining you.”
An approach that does not capitalize on past stories, past emotions, and assumptions around our perceived weaknesses is revolutionary because, as you will see as you go along on this journey with me, its focus is on what is behind all reasoning: The energy of energy.
Why the traditional approaches don’t always work for HSPs
How are such well-educated/well-meaning coaches and therapists potentially misguiding their HSP clients when they are attempting to help them?
Well, the place to start, once again, is by asking: What if your problems were nothing more than ways to get you to pay attention to the opportunities arising from your very own sensitivities?
Let’s call these things we were calling problems “whopper-tunities.” An easy way to remember just how extreme the issue can appear—and just how huge the opportunity is to see it differently. Again, generally speaking, I am not talking about your average situation that requires addressing. I’m talking about the life-long ways that HSPs have learned to deal with the world, none of which satisfy the real need to learn to trust that you are not only enough, but that your “sensitivities” are what makes you incredibly special.
The things that make you incredibly special, all the things you see/hear/sense/feel that others don’t?
These are the things that will continue to save humanity.
