The Love-Addicted HSP

Why is it so easy for HSPs to offer love (and compassion and sympathy and empathy and caring . . . and I could go on and on and on…), but so hard to take it in? And, no, it’s not because we don’t want it. In fact, we go out of our way to “get it.” In some place in our minds and hearts, we’re thinking, “Well, if I give enough love, I’ll surely get some in return.”

We end up asking questions like:

• “Why, if I am so ‘sensitive’ and so loving and generous, why do I end up in abusive relationships?”
• “Why do I end up with people who don’t seem to give me credit?”
• “Why do I give compliments so freely and yet find it so hard to accept them?”

My take on LOVE ENERGY

Love energy, IMHO, is quite simply the most powerful energy there is. It’s so powerful that, when it’s removed, it can scar us for life. When it’s rejected, it can destroy us. When it’s overwhelming, it can cause us to run the other direction.

Duh. I mean, if you’re going along being your average Highly Sensitive Person (quiet and/or shy and/or reserved and/or afraid and/or overwhelmed), these kinds of reactions are totally within the realm of obvs. Have you ever known an Emergency Room nurse who’s absolutely great in emergency situations, but smokes like a chimney (as my grandmother used to say), and waves off thanks before they’re even out of your mouth?

Have you ever known someone on your team at work who readily doles out understanding in tough situations, but can’t accept it from other people? “Good job,” you say. Their response? “Well, it could have been better. I mean, if only I’d . . . .”

See what I mean?

Just your typical HSP

You might get tired of hearing me say this, but I’m pretty familiar with this behavior because it was moi. Still is sometimes. If I take on the compliment, do I owe you something? Does it mean I’m not being humble? Will the world see me as vain? Am I really deserving? Again, all the usual questions of your typical HSP.

When I married my husband Randy, one of the very first things he told me was, “You are the strongest because you are the most loving.” What??? Seems like being so caring and loving was what made me the weakest. At least, that’s what the world would have me believe. It took some time for me to see

• that being loving doesn’t mean giving yourself away, and
• that being loving can scare people away because they don’t know how to receive it.

Do they not know how to receive love because they never felt they had it? Do they hesitate to trust it because unconditional love is something they don’t recognize? Are they afraid to love back because it’ll make them vulnerable?

Yeah. All of the above.

The Love-Addicted HSP

So, here we are. You and me. HSPs. Wanting nothing more than to give and receive, to love and be loved, to shine and help others shine. Pouring out love energy like there’s no tomorrow.

But, see,  here’s the thing. If you’re the one sending it out, it feels easy. But if you’re on the receiving end it can feel like being swept out to sea on a giant wave. At first you might like the water on your skin, but then you lose your balance and start flailing around and realize you have no control and freak out!!!

Because everything is energy, and love energy is so powerful, receiving the energy behind the love wave can knock you to your knees.

What happens then? People lash out. They defend. They argue. They deny. It’s as predictable as the pull of gravity.

Energy is not the same as emotion

See your love as energy. See it in the form of an electrical current. Picture it, not as much as an emotional state, but a frequency pattern that you exude. Just remember that people will react/respond to this energetic pulse in direct proportion to the amount you’re projecting—and directly in line with their (usually unconscious) relationship to the whole idea of love and what it means to them.

The key is to live with an open, loving ❤ without knocking people flat on their butts. How?

• Be in alignment.
• Love generously.
• Accept deflection gracefully.
• And, finally, accept love directly in proportion to how much you share it.

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Check out my posts on the Psychic Octopus (globbing onto other people’s energy); your UES (how to identify and stay in your Unique Energetic Signature); and your IGS (how to confidently and consistently tap into your Intuitive Guidance System) to help you practice the 32BYou tools of alignment. Thank you for shining your light into the world!