HSPs & Relationships: Why Does It Have To Feel So Hard?
When you’re an HSP, you are highly sensitive to lots of things even when you’re on your own. Even if you’re alone. Even if you’re in a float tank in the dark with all sound muted to the point of extinction. Why? Because your mind never gets left behind.
As they say, “You take yourself with you wherever you go.” And this is never truer than when you’re in relationship with someone else. Family . . . friends . . . partners.
The partnership spectrum
Today we’re talking about partner relationships. You know, those intimate kinds. The ones where you check in with the other person, you know what they like and don’t like, you have kids together or work together or ski together or garden together. Whatever kind of relationship you have, the basis of it is that you and this other person have committed to “be together.”
Did you ever notice that in many relationships one of the people feels less heard? Maybe they feel misunderstood. Maybe they’re more emotional. Maybe they want to talk about feelings more than the other person who just wants to “do things” and not “belabor” territory they already feel they’ve covered. These are only a few of the relationship snafus couples experience. We used to attach them to gender. (You know, women want to talk about feelings and men . . . don’t.) But it’s really only the degree that changes—how much and in what ways you might want and need what you want and need and how much and in what ways I might need and want what I need and want.
Moving from a 2-Pronged to a 3-Pronged Approach
When you throw HSP-ness in the mix, you’re adding a whole ’nother level of complexity. It’s no surprise that many HSPs choose partners who are less sensitive to the world’s energies, who are more grounded and calm—at least in the sense that they moved through life with less drama, turmoil . . . a more logical approach. For me, it was like the difference between being a 2-pronged electric plug and a grounded plug. “A grounding prong creates a new, low-resistance grounding path down to the main electrical panel. This trips the breaker, stopping the electrical current and preventing damage to your appliance, a house fire, or an electrical shock.” Or, in this case, to a meltdown.
Who’s grounding whom?
It felt good to rely on certain partnerships that kept me grounded because most of the time I felt as if I were floating in the air, my mind and my emotional state zipping around like a combo roller coaster and tilt-a-wheel. Not such a good look, I assure you.
I never imagined there would be a way to be highly sensitive and grounded at the same time! To feel like a 3-pronged plug all by myself—without giving up my intuitive senses along with all the other heightened sensibilities that make me who I am.
You can be your own 3-pronged plug!
As a 3-pronged, I am my own grounding mechanism. I am free to think with my heart first without losing my capability for logic and reason. I am safe to live life with an open heart without fear of being hurt, vulnerable, or victimized. I am free to be me.
What could be better than that?
