(Or . . . Why can’t I just let go and be in the flow like everyone says I should be?)

When I was growing up, everything bothered me. Everything upset me. Everything made me cry. Everything scared me. Everything was hard.

Now, the word of the day is “trigger.”

“It’s such a trigger for me,” we say. “You’re triggering me.” “You know that triggers me.” “If you know that’s a trigger for me, why don’t you stop doing it/saying it?”

What’s the one thing all these ways we express ourselves have in common? Well, I hate to say it, but it’s that all of them are putting the reason (the blame) for our being triggered on the person, place, or thing that’s getting in the way of our comfort.

• “The scent in here drives me crazy; I hate scented candles.”
• “He knows I hate to be yelled at, so why can’t he learn to lower his voice?”
• “I can’t stand green pepper, so why would they put it in the food?”

  

All of these statements have something else in common, too: They all express significantly low-vibration language, use of which, frankly, probably won’t catapult you into a *high-frequency life.*

Please understand that I’m not complaining about other people’s complaining about their triggers–as such. I’m not saying that we all don’t have valid reasons for having developed our triggers. Things like poor parenting, growing up with abuse, feeling ignored, unloved, unappreciated. We could go on and on. Most of us have at least one or two, if not dozens, of things that draw us in like a spider to a fly. “Come on in, you’ll love it in here.” And then . . . ZAP! You’re caught in the middle of something from which not only does it appear there is no escape but that sends you spiraling into the HSP’s Land of the Lost.

What really matters, though, is that at some point in our lives, we start to look at our triggers as something we have at some point decided we are willing to react to instead of something happening to us that we cannot control.

No, we can’t control someone who decides to yell or put green pepper in our dinner. But we certainly have a say about our reaction to it.

I’ve learned the following:

1. Going around all day talking about the things that trigger me only triggers me more.
2. Using language that has a low frequency like “I hate it when you…” “Why is this happening to me?” “It’s not fair…” “They should know it hurts me…” are all downers. Say them out loud or hear someone else say them and immediately the energy in the room goes south. If and when YOU say it, your own vibration has just crashed.
3. Talking about what triggers me triggers me into finding reasons I’m triggered that justify my reaction.
4. Talking to others about the fact that I was triggered by someone or something feels satisfyingly reassuring.
5. I like being reassured because it feels like someone is responding to my need for understanding or love or support or whatever else I want

If I turn my low-frequency HSP language into high-frequency language, the Land of the Lost turns into the Land of the Found.

Let’s start with the triggering episode.

Trigger: My friend is upset and has been talking to me in a louder-than-usual voice.

Response: I’m immediately back in my childhood being yelled at by my father. I can’t hear anything my friend is saying because all I want to do is run and hide and cry and scream. In the corner.

Reaction: I yell at my friend, “You know that I can’t hear you if you raise your voice to me! You know my father used to yell at me and I hate that. Why are you yelling at me?”

What’s really going on: Deflection, Victimization, Defensiveness, Justification, Avoidance, Blame, and Self-righteousness–not that there’s not a whole lot of hurt in there, too.

What I do differently

Trigger: My friend is upset and has been talking to me in a louder-than-usual voice.

Response: I’m immediately back in my childhood being yelled at by my father. I can’t hear anything my friend is saying because all I want to do is run and hide and cry and scream. In the corner.

Realization: Wow. I’m really out of alignment here. I know what brought it on and I don’t particularly enjoy it, but even if it feels uncomfortable, it’s a huge opportunity to work on pulling in my psychic octopus tentacles and practice my newfound awareness that I have the wherewithal to reflect on what I’m feeling even as I’m feeling it. Even a moment of objectivity in that kind of situation can switch off the “I’m freaking out” and switch on the “Oh, how interesting” switch.

One step back = a giant leap forward.

TIP OF THE DAY:

1. Write a list of 10 things that trigger you.
2. Put a checkmark next to all the ones that feel justified based on your life experience.
3. Now erase them.

The post Why Does Everything In the World Seem To Trigger Me So Much? first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

“The Package Came C.O.D.”

by Heidi Connolly

The package came C.O.D.

The delivery guy said it was for me

I signed for it, opened it, put it on, claimed it

I owned it then; it sure owned me;

I could have thrown it down

Kicked it to the floor

I could have sent it back

And slammed the door;

I could have just said no

I could have stood my ground

I should have watched it leave

Sent it back where it belonged;

’Cause when you live your life in denial

Of who you really are

The light you hold inside you

Sounds like whispers from afar;

You learn of love and how it hurts

For reasons of remorse

It churns and gnaws inside of you

And charts a deceptive course;

When fear is allowed to lead the way

The truth is buried alive

Without a chance to breathe and grow

With no chance to survive;

When doubt grows into hatred

It traps you like a snare

The burden of a thought

That’s really not ours to bear;

If you let it, it will cut you

Your wings clipped in despair

Every minute a sad reflection

Everyday another correction;

When the package came COD

And the delivery guy said it was for me

My life went driving down the street

I lived a lie in defeat;

But now I keep only what is mine

Whatever arrives must be divine

When it’s for me it’s whole, intact

This is a promise and a pact;

I close the door on everything else

I send it back much blessed

For only in the vibration of love

Is fear ever laid to rest;

I lift the veil of denial

I lift the weight of pain

I become the one I’m meant to be

Like a desert freed by rain.

I wrote this song in 2004 and “came upon” it today as I was searching for another file. You might call it a coincidence, but I would much rather land on the side of synchronicity, if for no other reason that it feels good when I do.

Yesterday I posted a poem by Becky Hemsley. Today I found my song. Notwithstanding my lack of songwriting ability and without knowing Becky’s intention for certain, it seems to me that we are talking about similar ideas about accepting who we are. As HSPs. As Highly Sensitive People. As individuals. As humans. As creative souls who live and breathe and identify and share and grow and touch and feel and respond and love and all the rest of it…the whole messy enchilada.

What amazes me is that I wrote this in 2004, not 2012 after my husband died or 2014 when I began hearing from him. Not all these years after discovering that my HSP-ness was directly related to my psychic and mediumship abilities and being witness to my own growth as an author.

I had to ask myself: If I didn’t know then what I know now, where did the words come from? Was I already channeling, if you want to call it that, my higher self? Had I entered some kind of 5^th-dimensional reality or parallel universe? Had I time traveled?

I really don’t know.

Yet here I sit before you today (well, before my computer writing to you) and feeling every word of this song.

I have lifted the veil of denial

I have lifted the weight of pain

I am becoming the one I’m meant to be

.

The post Fear came wrapped in a package and arrived C.O.D. first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

BREATHE

She sat at the back and they said she was shy,

She led from the front and they hated her pride,

They asked her advice and then questioned her guidance,

They branded her loud, then were shocked by her silence,

When she shared no ambition they said it was sad,

So she told them her dreams and they said she was mad,

They told her they’d listen, then covered their ears,

And gave her a hug while they laughed at her fears,

And she listened to all of it thinking she should,

Be the girl they told her to be best as she could,

But one day she asked what was best for herself,

Instead of trying to please everyone else,

So she walked to the forest and stood with the trees,

She heard the wind whisper and dance with the leaves,

She spoke to the willow, the elm and the pine,

And she told them what she’d been told time after time,

She told them she felt she was never enough,

She was either too little or far far too much,

Too loud or too quiet, too fierce or too weak,

Too wise or too foolish, too bold or too meek,

Then she found a small clearing surrounded by firs,

And she stopped…and she heard what the trees said to her,

And she sat there for hours not wanting to leave,

For the forest said nothing, it just let her breathe.

By: Becky Hemsley

I can relate, Becky Hemsley. I can definitely relate.

I read this poem on Facebook and recognized, as did the person who posted it, how much it reflects the life so many of us have led as High Sensitives (of any gender!).

The image in the post shows a tree (enhanced by an artist, apparently) into the body of a woman stretching upward and outward toward the sky. While some might see the image suggesting a plea of “Why me?” it could also be suggestive of someone reaching to the skies, empowered and alive, and grounded into the earth and a sense of self.

I’ll take Door #2, please.

Today I had a client who arrived to see with with a whole boatload of fear and anxiety. This client is almost 90 years old and has been a teacher and psychotherapist for many years. For a lot of those years she has successfully worked on herself to unravel the emotional issues that seemed to bind her to old ways of thinking about herself and the world, and has helped numerous clients of her own on that journey. That’s why, when she found herself unexpectedly “triggered” bigtime by a situation that came up, she called me.

You see, no matter how much we grow, stretch, and reach for spiritual connection and evolution and the groundedness that goes along with it, we also need to realize that We. Are. Still. Human.

There will always be that part of us—often a deeply subconscious or hidden part—that remembers the way things were in The Past. That great vast valley of old insecurities that arise just at the exact moment we need them to remind us to once again step up to the plate…that it’s time to level up once more on our spiritual path.

Being human also means we cannot, nor should we have to, or feel we have to, go it alone. Healers and light workers and mediums and meditators and caregivers—we all need to connect with others in the community of HSPs when it gets tough to make sure our feet stay planted in the ground on that journey of leveling up.

We may all be human and we may all be individual trees, but we are all one human among other humans and one tree among all the other trees in the forest.

The post Life As An HSP Doesn’t Mean A Life of Going It Alone first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Thought versus Feeling: The great dichotomy

The great dichotomy—and paradox—around being an HSP is that you feel everything, but when it comes time to meditate you find yourself so stuck in your mind’s meanderings that you can’t let go and do what you do so beautifully: feel intensely.

Today we’re going to talk about the actual process behind this dichotomy and what to do about it.

Premise: “I’m too sensitive. I feel everything.”

Okay, so you’re an HSP, a very highly sensitive person. Which, like I said, basically means you feel everything. But it also means you tend to overthink everything. It’s a constant back-and-forth that keeps you tightly wound in insecurity, indecision, and, often, irreconcilable conflict.

Supposition: “Meditation is too hard.”

Meditation is one, if not the, best way to rewire the way you move through life. It can be difficult for the very same dichotomy stated above. The key is to start thinking about the difference between feeling, as in emotion, and feeling, as the somatic sensations caused in the body. Otherwise, you can feel like a big blockhead!

The example:

“I’m upset.” Being upset is an emotional state, an emotion you can name and feel on that emotional level.

“I feel upset.” Your heart is pounding in your chest because you feel upset. The heart’s pounding is your body’s somatic response to whatever you tell yourself you’re experiencing: the sensation.

Identifying the difference and then isolating whatever sensation in your body is taking place is what can help guide you into leaving the mind out of the picture.

In your head, the conversation (at least, if you’re anything like me) can go something like this.

“Okay, I’m trying to meditate. I’m trying to quiet the mind. Stop my thoughts. All the things that everyone says to do. But I can’t. I feel fidgety and my mind is hopping from one thought to the next. Why can’t I stop the thoughts? Why can’t I “focus on my breath” and “relax”? Why is it so easy for other people? I give up.”

I’ll tell you a little secret. One reason why it feels so difficult is exactly because you’re such a brilliant HSP! The very HSP-ness qualities that make you experience everything so strongly are the same qualities that have your mind spinning in response.

Shifting the conversation

The only way I’ve found to shift this conundrum is by focusing on all the things my body is feeling while my mind is carrying on doing what it’s doing. To remind myself minute-to-minute, second-to-second, what sensation is going on in my body as I’m busily labeling, thinking, directing, mulling, whining, reliving conversations, and so on.

Shifting into conscious awareness

Whenever I become aware that I’m having the thought I’m having, I think, “Oh, I’m not meditating. I’m having a thought. Oops.”

“Let’s see. What am I feeling in relation to that thought? What is my response to that thought?”

• The Thought: “I’m remembering the argument I had yesterday with a friend.”
• The Emotion: “I feel angry. I feel like I want to cry (or scream or….)”
• The Sensation: “What is the sensation in my body? Can I isolate it? Is it diffuse throughout? Oh, yeah. My chest feels hard and tight and I feel sick to my stomach.”

Going into your body (Leaving Your Mind Behind)

Already, simply by becoming consciously aware of this process has brought you from 100% mind chatter “into your body.”

I always wondered what people meant by “being in your body.” I believe this is exactly what it means.

To go from a thought state to an emotional state is not enough. You need to take one step further to bring you into your somatic body, which then allows you (invites you) to truly FEEL sensationally rather than emotionally. Not thinking about what I’m feeling, but actually feeling it. Whether it’s tingling or breathing in and out or heaviness or lightness or a fast heartbeat or anything else.

This is where the rubber meets the road, guys. This is where your mind takes a breather. This is where your ability to meditate takes off.

Hallelujah!

The post Meditation: The most powerful way to reach your true self. first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

In Part 1 of HSPs & The Magic Pill, I talked about the way HSP-ism interacts with and is interlaced with symptoms, labeling of those symptoms, and diagnoses of those symptoms when you are an HSP. I talked about how much I yearned for a “magic pill” that would change my life.

Again, I do not advocate for nor am I against the use of medication for any purpose prescribed by your medical professional. What I present here is simply another way to interpret some of the symptoms–psychological, chemical, mental, emotional, and physical, you may be experiencing as a high-sensitive person. Like me.

Are you living in the label you’ve been giving?

In Part 1, you read about how I began taking Prozac against my husband’s wishes and fully immersed in my own shame that I “needed it.” I don’t think that shame has ever completely gone away. Needing something implies a weakness, and being weak is bad, right? That’s what I thought.

The incredible thing was that within days I was getting out of bed in the morning for the first time in my life that I could recall with actual enthusiasm. Gone was the “Omigod, another day, groan” thing. GONE. I couldn’t believe that this tiny pill called Prozac could make such a difference in my experience. The cloud of shame under which I lived had to stay buried in order to allow this new me to shine. Because I kept the fact that I was “on an anti-depression medication” under wraps, eventually Randy stopped asking me about it; we silently agreed to not speak about it, pretend it didn’t exist. The shame didn’t go away, but I gave up trying to make it go away.

Life changes in ways you cannot possibly expect

And now it’s 2012 and Randy is dying. Over the almost two decades we’d been together, I’d been on and off meds periodically, but  mostly off. I really wanted to “make it on my own” without the help of drugs. I cannot stress how much energy it took to pretend everything was okay. Especially after Randy’s illness began taking a more severe toll and my level of anxiety ramped up and the thought most prevalent in my mind was, “I can’t deal with this. I can’t deal with this.” Over and over it ran, even though I was dealing with it, one painful day at a time.

When the worst happened, all the “what ifs” came to pass, when I was left to scrape myself together, I’m really not sure why I didn’t go back on medication. I can see where it would have helped carve out a space for me to begin to cope. It seems I’d developed a sort of stubborn sense of what was right and what was wrong and what was weak and what was strong—and that no matter how weak I felt, I could not give in.

I don’t share any of this in support of medication or to steer anyone a way from medication. And I do not share my story to whine about the past. My only purpose here is to share how I made the transition from someone who “needed drugs” to someone who doesn’t.

Label, labels, and more labels

I know that my “anxiety disorder” is just another aspect of hyper-sensitivity, but that hyper-sensitivity is just another aspect of being highly intuitive and it’s completely within my power to use that intuition without getting caught up in the energy of it. Now it doesn’t feel like anxiety; it feels like the energy of intuition, curiosity, and inspiration.

I know that my “chronic depression” is just another mislabeling—believing that my intuitive sensitivities  were wrong, bad, and a problem, and that shutting down was the only way to survive. Now I know that when/if I feel the energy, the frequency, of so-called “depression,” it’s really only an energy reminding me to listen, really listen, to whatever message might be coming in. Just because I assign a label to a feeling, an emotional feeling like “depression,” does not mean that’s what it is.

So often, in fact almost always, these kinds of feelings are not what they appear to be. If no label existed, would I still feel the way I feel? Quite possibly. And yet, what if the label were not “you are depressed,” but “you are being guided to listen to your intuition”? How might that change our perception of that energetic experience?

For me, it changed everything and continues to be the way I live my life. Things are not always what they appear to be, even by consensus. “Uncomfortable” is not necessarily bad. What looks like a duck and quacks like a duck is not always a duck.

Consider new options. Learn a new way. Give yourself a break. Think differently. Wonder. Be curious. Open to the possibilities.

You won’t regret it.

The post Are you still looking for a magic pill to change your life? first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

How do you become who you are? I’ve asked myself this question many times through the years, mostly because I’m so surprised at where I keep “ending up.” Especially since we all know that there is no “ending” until . . . well, there is.

No matter the length of the retrospective, it can be illuminating as a catalyst in moving forward. From the perspective of where I am now, I can understand a lot about how I got here. I grew up in an atmosphere of education and learning, equaled only by the ever-present churning inside me to comprehend the universe in a way that made sense. What a paradox it was! How do you live your life as a human when you feel like an alien species deposited in a strange land? When you’re sure you were left only with a wave and a vague suggestion to figure it out for yourself until the time comes for you to depart.

Low-functioning HSP-ism

I stumbled along. Sometimes severely low-functioning; often appearing high-functioning . . . the consummate HSP. That Highly Sensitive Person who felt everything 1000 times more than anyone else, could not understand the way the world worked or people behaved, or the way I was supposed to behave in it. A fish permanently out of water, gasping for breath every step of the way just to stay alive and moving from one day to the next, one crisis to the next.

The common traits of HSP-ism

I felt terrified, abused, ignored, overwhelmed. Over-protected, indulged, and loved–somewhat conditionally— based on my current level of handling whatever it was I was supposed to be handling. I was disillusioned by the world, but knew it was all my fault; blamed myself for being crazy, over-emotional, “too much.” I prayed to be understood, to feel accepted, yet only felt discouraged and unworthy. My life was guided by standards of achievement, which were expected to be met no matter the topic or goal. Loving intention in my environment, admittedly no small thing, could never be enough to mitigate how adrift I felt in my life.

Who were all these people around me who were so confident? How did they get that way? Why did I feel like crying all the damn time? What did they know that I didn’t know?

Death changes everything

Honestly, it was not until my husband Randy transitioned in 2012 that my life took the dramatic turn it apparently needed to clear the way for a true awakening. All the usual challenges—how to live without a beloved spouse, how to go about daily life when suddenly you are one, not a partnership of two, and so on—were enormous, yet it led to the emergent, deep-seated revelatory truth I’d been waiting for.

• Sure, I’d gone to Harvard University, yet never really understood how I got there or how I managed to graduate.
• Sure, I’d raised two children, much of the time as a single parent, yet felt terminally inadequate.
• Sure, I’d worked in some capacity for all these years—as a professional flautist, corporate trainer, counselor, medical transcriptionist, and longtime editor the owner of Harvard Girl Word Services—yet felt supremely unworthy of my own accomplishments.

The dark, dark night of the soul

Now, without my husband at my side, it was time to take a good, hard, long look at who I’d become—or hadn’t. I was 50+ years older, yet the same anxiety-ridden, prone-to-depression, fear-filled, tired person I had always been. Sometimes happier, sometimes sadder, sometimes more productive, sometimes less. But always, always, unsure of myself, my place in the world, my purpose.

On becoming high-functioning

High Sensitives like me—like us—can be really good at what we do. The thing is, we can be so filled with misgiving that we would rather stay anonymously in the background than stand out in the limelight. For example, I was happier to be praised for “channeling the messages” of others through writing than write material of my own—to put my name on the cover. To stay safe in a world where too much attention meant taking responsibility for the attention I might receive. The deep desire to be “seen” never surpasses our deeper need to stay hidden. Being discovered means being known for the fearful mess we can feel we are and are ashamed to be.

If any of this resonates with you, please know that the way ahead for you can be very different. You don’t have to wait until you’re 30 or 40 or 50 (the way I did) to feel inspired to live, and capable of living, a beautiful life.

What’s  your journey?

Of course, my journey is not yours. Writing a book with your dead husband after he’s transitioned about forming a relationship with those on the other side of the veil may not be in the stars for you. The only reason I am here now communicating with you, the HSPs of the world, is to share that you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You have so much more to offer the world than the world might acknowledge. Your talents and abilities are not only valid and valuable, but the very talents and abilities that keep the world in balance, keep it from going over to the dark side, and are the saving grace of all humanity.

Sure, it’s a big statement, but I stand behind it.

Tools & techniques for the HSPs of the world–for YOU!

With the incredible realizations and tools and techniques I have acquired along the way, however, I am no longer that person. The kernel of who I was remains, but instead of rotting away from neglect, it has happily blossomed into something, someone, authentic and alive and full of life.

No, it doesn’t always happen all at once. It was more like the unraveling of a slow-moving epiphany than a Big Bang. Like the psychic octopus: Learning that Heidi hadn’t really existed at all, just the energy of other people who’d been invited in to take residence in her mind, body, and spirit.

Like the UES: Learning that I had a Unique Energetic Signature all my own—that all I had to do was identify it, feel it, know it . . . live in it.

That’s what I’m here to share with you. The ideas in Elevating Your HSP-ness will knock your socks off. They will change your life. They will support you through thick and thin. They will really, really, REALLY shift the way you see yourself and the world. They will invite you to realize that you are, and have always been, perfect and perfectly positioned to shine a light in a world that needs it more than ever. A combination of all I have learned and been in my life—the “professorial” element—and all I have ever experienced spiritually and emotionally—that has integrated into an identity I could never have imagined, into who I am today.

This bit of music from my healing guided collection should help you do the same.

The post When you feel lost, don’t give up. It’s the time for a change. first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Pretty early on in my life I discovered there was pill for anxiety. Everyone knew such pills were only for housewives trying to numb out their lives (think Jacqueline Suzann and Valley of the Dolls). I never knew anyone who took them or where to get them had I wanted them. Still, I wished there were something to take away the pain. You know, a magic pill that would cure me. An “anti-me” pill: anti-anxiety, anti-depression, anti-everything pill.

I was living in married students’ housing in Ann Arbor, MI when I met Beth and her husband. She was another musician and he was a scientist in the field of pharmaceuticals. Beth and I hung out a lot. Seems we could commiserate on a lot of things. Having babies and raising kids while our husbands were busy working and going to school; being super-sensitive and hyperaware every moment of the day; feeling overwhelmed by it all as we supported each other for being two wonderfully loving, if self-deprecating, women.

Prozac? Are you kidding me?

One day Beth told me her husband and his team had developed this new drug called Prozac, which was supposed to help relieve the symptoms of depression. Well, count me in, right?

Wrong.

Drugs? Me? Never! I should be able to deal with my own issues (from the panic attacks to the generalized fear to the postpartum depression) by myself. Otherwise, I was weak and unworthy. And the same went for you. If you couldn’t handle your life, there had to be something wrong with you. 

15 years later

Okay, so now it’s 15 years later. I’ve been divorced from that husband and remarried to a wonderful man who was at least as sensitive as I was. Incredible! He wasn’t scared off by my intensity or my tears. In fact, he could go there as fast as I could. It was a marriage made in heaven.

And yet . . .

I still suffered internally. I was afraid of being a bad mother and a bad partner. Afraid of not doing or being enough. And on and on and on. There was no stopping me. Just think of all the energy I used being so anxious that could have been put to another use. By then, Prozac had been on the market all that time and, in the back of my mind, I really, really wanted to see if it could help me. Still, “taking drugs” was a Very Bad Thing To Do. It meant you were really all those things people said you were. And none of them were good.

Which is worse? Being who I was or “taking drugs”?

Finally, though, at some point, I realized I had reached a point that no matter what my external circumstances, my internal voice was struggling to stay sane. So, yeah, I went to the shrink and got myself some good old-fashioned Prozac. The incredible thing was that within days I was getting out of bed in the morning for the first time in my life that I could recall with actual enthusiasm. Gone was the “Omigod, another day, groan” thing. GONE.

My husband was horrified. I’d been so good at keeping my depression secret that he could not believe I “needed something like that” to fix me. Wasn’t I happy with him? Didn’t we have a good life?

“I can’t help it. I was born that way.”

I tried to explain my situation in terms of science. “You see,” I told him, “it’s just that it’s a chemical thing and there’s’ really nothing I can do about it. I was born that way. It’s not psychological, it’s chemical, and I need help to be okay.”

He was not happy. He felt he wasn’t enough.

I wasn’t happy. I felt I wasn’t enough. Plus, I knew now that I was truly broken.

I kept the fact that I was “taking drugs” secret, much as I’d kept my state of being secret. Inside I felt ashamed and guilty even though I’d never felt so free from the weight that had kept me down all those years.

In a twist of fate worthy of a fairy tale, it wasn’t until the death of my husband Randy that everything became clear. . . .

To Be Continued

Stay tuned for Part 2 of HSPs and the Magic Pill in tomorrow’s message.

The post HSPs and the Magic Pill: We all wish we had one first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Leaping was easy when you were a kid. It’s time to leap into being the brilliant HSP  you were created to be!

How do you get to be a BADASS . . .  the abundantly brilliant, consciously aware, amazingly dynamic, unapologetically adept, and unambiguously sensational being you were created to be?

First, you probably need to have a “psychic opening.”

I wouldn’t necessarily recommend doing it the way I did. You know, the whole dark-night-of-the-soul experience that takes you so far down into the morass of hell that you almost forget there’s any other place that ever exited. Yeah, that place. So, no, if you don’t need to go there, don’t.

On the other hand.

Sometimes that’s what it takes to have the psychic opening you need to crack wide the tightly wrapped egg-like structure (feels hard until it breaks at the slightest touch) of the depths of you.

What happened to me: My psychic opening

There I was, stuck in British Columbia, in a place I knew nothing about, with people I’d never met, working on a book with a medium I had just met, because my dead husband had told her to contact me.

I know. I thought it was nuts, too.

Randy had only died a few months earlier and I was in no condition to travel anywhere. I could barely get out of bed in the morning, let alone think about getting in my car and driving to Canada or to an airport to fly on an actual plane with actual crowds of people. My panic attacks were worsening. I woke up to my heart pounding and went to sleep—eventually and only after sheer exhaustion—with my heart pounding. The incessant, rapid thumping in my chest was telling me, “You’re in trouble. Your life has caught up to you. You’re dying. You’ll never make it–wherever that might be. Give up.”

Honestly, if it weren’t for this woman’s phone call (“Hello, my name is ____ and Randy told me to call you to say we have to work together on a book”) I may have opted out. The discomfort of living in my own body with my own thoughts and my own emotions was so great that shutting down once and for all felt like a viable option.

The Spirit World is on your side.

Without explaining herself with any specificity, this woman I didn’t know told me I was supposed to stay with her in Canada, work with her, and help her write her book. That Randy was guiding the process. Orchestrating on my (our) behalf.

Looking back, I know it was the lifeline I needed. I felt myself moving through the murky waters of grief to renew my passport, buy a suitcase, pack my bags, purchase a laptop for traveling until one day I arrived on Vancouver Island wondering how in heck I’d gotten there. It wasn’t until a couple of years later that I fully began to realize the way the Spirit World and my “gatekeeper,” Randy, was orchestrating so brilliantly to help me live a happier life.

She told me I was having a “psychic opening.”

It took a month for me to hear anything anyone was saying to me, even while I was writing and editing. It took another month for me to hear the words “psychic opening” and understand it had anything to do with me. That everything I knew, believed I knew; felt and believed I felt; thought and believed I thought was pretty much wrong. Or at least upside-down or something other than correct. The first time I heard it I went speechless. They were words, but words that could not possibly apply to me.

What if what you feel is not what you feel?

If you’re reading this, you probably know what it’s like to live life with anxiety and fear and emotional excess. The idea that someone would tell you that it’s because “you’re having a psychic opening” is just as probably not something you’ve ever heard before. But, when I tell you it’s what turned my life around, I’m not exaggerating. I’m not using hyperbole to make a point. I’m simply stating a fact.

When I share the news with clients that this is what is happening to them, most often they look at me like I’m crazy. They’ve been told their emotional states have been “over the top” and “too much” for so long that looking at them any other way seems completely unfathomable. Ridiculous even.

As “HSPs,” It’s time to embrace the concept that YOU can be highly intuitive and phenomenally strong at the same time. . . .

Be the Brilliant HSP You Were Created To Be!

As I said in my last post, it’s time to take the leap into your “BADASS-edness”: you abundantly brilliant, consciously aware, amazingly dynamic, unapologetically adept, and unambiguously sensational–being you were created to be!

It’s about going from unhappy to happy, unempowered to empowered. Into laughing and loving and generally feeling that life is more, not less, than it was cracked up to be. 

Will you feel this way all the time? Probably not. Neither do I. But the pauses in between are getting smaller.

Or you might say that I’m living in the pauses themselves.

Yeah…no. It’s much too far from anything they know, much too off the wall from anything they’ve ever heard, to consider.

And yet, it’s the truth.

Take the leap into your BADASS-edness!

And once you step into the truth and work within its brilliantly high-frequency resolution of competency and awareness, the release is stupendous. The relief is like the biggest breath you’ve ever taken. The renewal is as powerful as the strongest adrenaline surge.

But the best thing about being a brilliant HSP?

You’re one forever.

The post You can be the Brilliant HSP You Were Created To Be! first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Why discovering your UES matters so much

• What is a Unique Energetic Signature?
• Why is the Unique Energetic Signature so important for HSPs?
• How do I know what to do with it once I’ve identified my UES and know what it feels like?
• Why is it so important to differentiate between your UES and someone else’s?
• How can I, who am so highly sensitive, stay in my own UES without forcing it—in other words, easily and effortlessly.

Knowing what your Unique Energetic Signature feels like . . .

. . . is the single most important step in your evolution as someone who wants to understand how amazing it is to be highly sensitive—to go from “I’m so sensitive and it’s so hard to be me” to “I love being sensitive because it’s the greatest gift of all.”

It’s all about ease (vs resistance).

If we have any outcome at all in mind (while understanding that being attached to outcome isn’t the point), it would be that whatever we do is done easily, without resistance. Lack of resistance not only ensures a sense of freedom, but confirms our innate, if depleted, sense that we can handle whatever comes up in our world. So, although we might hope for a result, we also recognize that it’s the journey and the process that actually provides the inspiration we seek.

If you are willing to embark on this journey, you are ready to appreciate that it’s not a sad condition that keeps us down, but a brilliant addition to life, one that invites us to participate that much more fully in life.

Knowing what your own Unique Energetic Signature feels like allows you to differentiate between your energy and the energy of others.

1. Firmly establishing your own Unique Energetic Signature is a permanent state that easily keeps you from taking on the energy/emotions/physical sensations/and patterns of others.
2. Being, living, in your Unique Energetic Signature opens your heart to all you are. It naturally invites you to become all that you really are and opens the door to living a life of integrity, authenticity, and contentment.

Identifying the deep-down authentic you for an authentic life

The first step to identifying your own UES can be tricky, but once you get it, you never forget it! You wonder why you never recognized it for what it is: the deep-down authentic you. The place most of us knows is there, but have not been able to access due to all the things that have gotten in the way, internal factors like low self-esteem, lack of confidence, fear, and depression, often based on significant external factors, like negative societal input. HSPs tend to need external validation for who they are because inside they’re confused and haven’t identified their UES yet.

Knowing the difference between your energy and others’

To know the difference between your energetic signature and that of other people’s, you really only have to identify your own. In other words, it really doesn’t matter what other people’s energy feels like to the degree that you only care about what yours feels like and how good it feels to be in it. It’s not about blocking out the energy of others; it’s about relaxing into your own to the point where the energy around you doesn’t get in your way anymore. It’s there, but you don’t feel it.  It’s there, but you don’t care.

Preparing the way to your UES

As we continue along with these posts we will talk more about how to identify, establish, and live in your very own Unique Energetic Signature. For now, let’s prepare the way.

Ask yourself:

1. Where does my energy live in my body?
2. Do I know when I’m no longer in my own energy?
3. Am I so used to picking up other people’s energy that I assume it’s mine?

Practice self-awareness in this way and see what happens!

The post Identifying your Unique Energetic Signature (UES) matters! first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Everyone knows the story of the Wizard of Oz, where the Great and Powerful Oz turned out to be just a man behind a curtain.

The Greek word for curtain is connected to aule, or “court,” perhaps because the “door” that led out to the courtyard of a Greek house was a hung cloth; figuratively, from the early 15^th Century, from the French cortiner¸ “to enclose with or as if with a curtain.”

Why HSPs end up “behind the curtain” instead of traveling the roadmap of life.

When I think about how I stayed hidden most of my life I am more sad than anything—and yet how could it have been otherwise?

HSPs learn, as many who are afraid to reveal parts of themselves that others might consider unworthy, and at any early age, that sharing our “over-the-top” feelings, our fears, our natural, ingrained responses to overstimulation, etc., is Not A Good Thing.

There are lots of ways to hide, lots of different kinds of curtains. For me, there was the “I need to go practice the flute” curtain. From age five or six, I had the perfect excuse to close my door and be alone. Over time it felt like my only escape. Sure, over time it felt like a prison sometimes, but at least I was alone in my own self where I could read or sleep or listen to weepy music like “Bridge of Troubled Water” and let the tears flow.

The problem is that years and years of prison life is a real drain on your entire being. Literally. I always felt tired, partly because I slept so badly due to my chronic anxiety. My body ached from head to toe, no matter what I did or didn’t do. You get the point. Eventually, you go looking for labels and diagnoses, things to have and own, like “I have anxiety.” “I suffer from depression.” “I have fibromyalgia.” Having disorders then allows you to seek help for the distressing symptoms, and life becomes a revolving door of doctors and self-help books and pills.

Not that medical attention is bad. I myself seek medical assistance when I need it. And self-help books? There are lots of them on my shelves and many of them felt like they saved my life at the time. So there’s no judgment here. Only the suggestion that hiding who we are can lead to much more than a device for self-protection, and most of it isn’t good.

In other words, I was a high-functioning HSP. Are you?

Going behind my personal curtain allowed me to breathe. It allowed me to put away the constant act I promoted in front of other people because I felt it was what was expected of me and I would be chastised for being myself. My curtain developed a thickness over time, layer after layer of methods to hide.

Eating. Sleeping. Keeping my mouth shut. Pretending I was okay when I wasn’t. Always feeling less than and staying silent about it. Closing out, closing off, closing in. Shutting down, shutting out, shutting in.

The really sad thing is how many of us are smart enough and talented enough and brilliant enough to figure out ways to hide when all that brain power and heart power could power an entire electric grid!

It’s time to open the curtain, pull out your road map, get in the car, and go…go…go.

In other words, enjoy the ride!

The post Why we hide behind the curtain of life & why it doesn’t work first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.