Highly Sensitive People and the Cruel, Cruel, Cruel World…

In the lives of highly sensitive people, there is a constant undercurrent of negative reinforcement that terrorizes and demoralizes HSPs and the cruel world, and if you want a happy life, you need to accept these truths.

“If you want a happy life you need to accept these harsh truths.”

Noooo!

I saw this header on a youtube video and my immediate reaction was, “Noooo! Don’t tell me what I’ve always been told by the world—that life is harsh and I have to suck it up to get by! That’s not what I want to hear!”

I know, harsh call, right? It’s not like I clicked on it to see what the lovely young blond in the video had to say before rushing to judgment. Still, just hearing that harsh truths are the required foundation for a happy life triggered a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

You might be one of those people who don’t believe that the language we use makes all that much difference. You may believe that it’s what we do that matters more. Or even that emotions and feelings (we’ll continue to explore that difference) should be subjugated to the mind’s much more reliable rational, logical thinking. If that’s so, I encourage you only to consider how happy you are in your life. If you’re good, great! Keep doing what you’re doing. But if you’re not, and you happen to be like so many of us who take it personally, keep reading.

Let’s return to the idea of “harsh truths.”

• Is it harsh to hear that you are solely responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions?
• That the world is not yours to fix?
• That the one thing you can do that makes any difference in the world is to start by being as loving as you can toward yourself so that your love shines out into the world?

I know, I know. Sounds woo-woo. Fact is, I don’t care anymore. The more content I feel in my life, the less concern I have about how other people perceive my woo-woo-ness. ’Cause it makes me happy! I still get my work done every day. I have clients, responsibilities, family, friends, bills to pay, groceries and gas to buy, a house to take care of. But instead of bemoaning my fate and the fate of the world, I look at ways to be grateful—and when I find it, I feel the gratitude deep in my bones.

And, guess what? I’m still an HSP. Big time.

Really? Affirmations?

“Oh, no, is she talking about affirmations?” you say. “I hate those things. They don’t do anything.”

On some level, no, they probably don’t. Not unless you FEEL them.

Here’s an example.

Years ago when it was still hard for me to be grateful for much of anything and I could hardly get out of bed in the morning, I asked myself this: “Is there one thing you can find to feel grateful for (not simply say you’re grateful for) every day? One consistent thing?” And I found it. Every night, I was grateful for snuggling into my flannel sheets and alternative down comforter in the winter and laying my head down on the perfect pillow that fit my head and neck. The way my body relaxed after a long day of fighting my way, managing my way, through the world. Sometimes it lasted only a few seconds, sometimes a minute or two. What mattered was how good my whole being felt in those seconds and minutes. That those moments were pure in their delivery of contentment.

Textbook HSPs

Once you feel it, on any level, in any small way, you can begin to find it in other places, in other ways. As a textbook HSP, it was a slow start for me after a long haul of grief and loss, but that’s why they call it practice. When the practice no longer feels like work, it no longer feels weighty. When the weight is gone, it feels like relief.

HSPs and the “cruel” world. Pure and simple.