Negative self-talk

The body cannot distinguish between an actual event and a thought. When you think fearful thoughts, the emotions you feel are the emotions that are saying, “I am in danger; there is an actual danger here.” So what happens? You feel the emotion of agitation, fear, or anxiety, both emotionally and throughout your body. Unfortunately, this kind of useless, dysfunctional thinking has a long-term effect on the us, too,  and actually removes the body’s ability to recover from illness, to stay healthy.

What gets your attention?

Look at it this way. Do the nice things that happen in your life receive a lot of your attention? Maybe you share something good that’s happened today with someone, but after that it’s out of sight, out of mind. It’s the negative stuff that gets all the rehashing. First in your own head, and then outwardly when you share those things with others.

Self-talk is really the issue for HSPs because when the mind constantly generates thoughts of self-judgment and negativity, that’s the way life becomes. Externalizing that feeling about life only brings more of it to us. We talk to people who are happy to complain and whine along with us and get the justification we need to keep whining. We feel supported.

Negative self-talk causes a negative state of consciousness

But here’s the thing. Negative events cause a predominant state of consciousness that’s negative! You’ve probably heard this or similar statements a million times. The difference here is that we take that (not always immediately recognizable) correlation between your mental/emotional state and what happens to you, your associations, your work, etc., and cut that correlation. Sever the cord. Untie the binds. See what I mean?

Who do you judge?

Naturally, it’s easier to recognize negativity in others than it is in yourself. Much easier to judge others than yourself. Easier to want someone else to change so you don’t have to . . . so your discomfort or distaste or disregard will go away.

You wouldn’t be reading this if you were not motivated to awaken from the stupor of discomfort, dissatisfaction, disillusionment, or depression. Being motivated is the first step to conscious awareness. Motivation opens the mind, body, and spirit to a new way of thinking, which causes a new way of feeling, which causes a new way of being and living.

Why affirmations don’t work

It’s not enough to speak or think affirmations if you don’t feel their truth. You need to use tools like the Psychic Octopus to truly understand your HSP sensibilities to the degree that you can benefit from them.

You also need to learn who you are, inside and out, to stay present and aligned (the state of feeling good, of intimately knowing your Unique Energetic Signature), no matter what is going on around you.

Can you do it? Absolutely!!!

Do you have to understand it, know it, do it, have it, see it, live it all at once? Definitely not.

If you’re still wearing your suit of misery, it might be time to give it up

You just have to want it more than you want to stay in the place that feels uncomfortably comfortable—or maybe comfortably uncomfortable. That place where you’ve been wearing the Suit of Misery for so long that it’s the only item of clothing you ever wear. No matter how filthy it gets, no matter how ratty and holey it is, you’d rather keep wearing it than buy a new one because buying a new one comes with too many “problems.” Fit. Cost. Effort. The “breaking- in” factor. I mean, who wants to deal with all that, right?

If that’s your story, you are free to stick to it.

If you want to change your story, maybe it’s time to buy a new suit.

The post It’s time to exchange your old suit for a new one first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

Lots of people talk about what’s wrong, even if it’s to set the premise for getting something right. Fighting the war against drugs. Moms against drunk driving. Anti-terrorism. Anti-lots of things. All throughout the spectrum of society. We’re constantly fighting against whatever it is we decide we don’t like, we don’t want, we don’t agree with, or we find offensive.

I really don’t want to do that. I really, really, really want to talk about what’s right, what feels right, and how to feel that rightness so deeply that it leads to a more joy-filled life.

On the other hand, how do you talk about the light without mentioning the pitfalls and shadows, the potholes and stumbling blocks? I’d like to say I have it down pat, but I’m on the same path you are. Putting one foot in front of the other every single day and using my LED flashlight to guide the way.

What I know

Still, here are some of the things I know. Things that help me stay on the path without falling too far into the sinkhole of despair before remembering, rebounding, and re-emerging. Something like taking a quick dose of Emergen-C before a cold takes hold.

1. I remind myself that I have the capacity to expand my senses at any moment in time to welcome in an alertness that immediately broadens my outlook and perceptions.
2. I remind myself that I have the ability to fall into a natural state of love, no matter where I am doing or where I am.
3. I remind myself to see the beloved (and the “to-be-loved”) in everything. Even if I don’t feel it in the moment, this reminder helps if I’m tottering on the edge.
4. I remind myself to, as Michael Singer would say, “remove the inner thorn.”
5. I remind myself that I can become the wound or heal the wound.
6. I remind myself of a quote I once heard, that “one alone in consciousness with the infinite is the majority.”

These steps are all part of opening and living with an open heart—and doing it without fear of risk to oneself.

The comment I usually get here is, “It’s fine to say to open your heart, but that just means getting hurt more often.”

Which might be true…if you’re going around putting out an energetic message that says, “Hey, world, look at me. I’m vulnerable. I care about everything to the point where I don’t take care of myself. I’m here, open to hurt because I have an open heart.”

In HSPs: Hide or Seek I talked about reeling in your psychic octopus. This is exactly why that’s the foundation for living with an open heart without risk. Your heart remains open, but your psychic tentacles remain in. Sure, they swim around a bit, picking up bits and pieces here and there, exploring. But within the unique energetic field that is yours and yours alone. The Unique Energetic Signature you have identified. The realm in which you feel aligned, comfortable, stable, and capable…

…and openhearted.

The post Opening the Universal Heart: Risky or Risk-free for the HSP? first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.

In the lives of highly sensitive people, there is a constant undercurrent of negative reinforcement that terrorizes and demoralizes HSPs and the cruel world, and if you want a happy life, you need to accept these truths.

“If you want a happy life you need to accept these harsh truths.”

Noooo!

I saw this header on a youtube video and my immediate reaction was, “Noooo! Don’t tell me what I’ve always been told by the world—that life is harsh and I have to suck it up to get by! That’s not what I want to hear!”

I know, harsh call, right? It’s not like I clicked on it to see what the lovely young blond in the video had to say before rushing to judgment. Still, just hearing that harsh truths are the required foundation for a happy life triggered a sad feeling in the pit of my stomach.

You might be one of those people who don’t believe that the language we use makes all that much difference. You may believe that it’s what we do that matters more. Or even that emotions and feelings (we’ll continue to explore that difference) should be subjugated to the mind’s much more reliable rational, logical thinking. If that’s so, I encourage you only to consider how happy you are in your life. If you’re good, great! Keep doing what you’re doing. But if you’re not, and you happen to be like so many of us who take it personally, keep reading.

Let’s return to the idea of “harsh truths.”

• Is it harsh to hear that you are solely responsible for your own thoughts, feelings, and actions?
• That the world is not yours to fix?
• That the one thing you can do that makes any difference in the world is to start by being as loving as you can toward yourself so that your love shines out into the world?

I know, I know. Sounds woo-woo. Fact is, I don’t care anymore. The more content I feel in my life, the less concern I have about how other people perceive my woo-woo-ness. ’Cause it makes me happy! I still get my work done every day. I have clients, responsibilities, family, friends, bills to pay, groceries and gas to buy, a house to take care of. But instead of bemoaning my fate and the fate of the world, I look at ways to be grateful—and when I find it, I feel the gratitude deep in my bones.

And, guess what? I’m still an HSP. Big time.

Really? Affirmations?

“Oh, no, is she talking about affirmations?” you say. “I hate those things. They don’t do anything.”

On some level, no, they probably don’t. Not unless you FEEL them.

Here’s an example.

Years ago when it was still hard for me to be grateful for much of anything and I could hardly get out of bed in the morning, I asked myself this: “Is there one thing you can find to feel grateful for (not simply say you’re grateful for) every day? One consistent thing?” And I found it. Every night, I was grateful for snuggling into my flannel sheets and alternative down comforter in the winter and laying my head down on the perfect pillow that fit my head and neck. The way my body relaxed after a long day of fighting my way, managing my way, through the world. Sometimes it lasted only a few seconds, sometimes a minute or two. What mattered was how good my whole being felt in those seconds and minutes. That those moments were pure in their delivery of contentment.

Textbook HSPs

Once you feel it, on any level, in any small way, you can begin to find it in other places, in other ways. As a textbook HSP, it was a slow start for me after a long haul of grief and loss, but that’s why they call it practice. When the practice no longer feels like work, it no longer feels weighty. When the weight is gone, it feels like relief.

HSPs and the “cruel” world. Pure and simple.

The post Highly Sensitive People and the Cruel, Cruel, Cruel World… first appeared on Elevate Your HSP-ness!.