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<\/a>How do you become who you are? I\u2019ve asked myself this question many times through the years, mostly because I\u2019m so surprised at where I keep \u201cending up.\u201d Especially since we all know that there is no \u201cending\u201d until . . . well, there is.<\/p>\n
No matter the length of the retrospective, it can be illuminating as a catalyst in moving forward. From the perspective of where I am now, I can understand a lot about how I got here. I grew up in an atmosphere of education and learning, equaled only by the ever-present churning inside me to comprehend the universe in a way that made sense. What a paradox it was! How do you live your life as a human when you feel like an alien species deposited in a strange land? When you\u2019re sure you were left only with a wave and a vague suggestion to figure it out for yourself until the time comes for you to depart.<\/p>\n
Low-functioning HSP-ism<\/h2>\n
I stumbled along. Sometimes severely low-functioning; often appearing high-functioning . . . the consummate HSP. That Highly Sensitive Person<\/a> who felt everything 1000 times more than anyone else, could not understand the way the world worked or people behaved, or the way I was supposed to behave in it. A fish permanently out of water, gasping for breath every step of the way just to stay alive and moving from one day to the next, one crisis to the next.<\/p>\n I felt terrified, abused, ignored, overwhelmed. Over-protected, indulged, and loved–somewhat conditionally\u2014 based on my current level of handling whatever it was I was supposed to be handling. I was disillusioned by the world, but knew it was all my fault; blamed myself for being crazy, over-emotional, \u201ctoo much.\u201d I prayed to be understood, to feel accepted, yet only felt discouraged and unworthy. My life was guided by standards of achievement, which were expected to be met no matter the topic or goal. Loving intention in my environment, admittedly no small thing, could never be enough to mitigate how adrift I felt in my life.<\/p>\n Who were all these people around me who were so confident? How did they get that way? Why did I feel like crying all the damn time? What did they know that I didn\u2019t know?<\/p>\n Honestly, it was not until my husband Randy transitioned in 2012 that my life took the dramatic turn it apparently needed to clear the way for a true awakening. All the usual challenges\u2014how to live without a beloved spouse, how to go about daily life when suddenly you are one, not a partnership of two, and so on\u2014were enormous, yet it led to the emergent, deep-seated revelatory truth I\u2019d been waiting for.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Now, without my husband at my side, it was time to take a good, hard, long look at who I\u2019d become\u2014or hadn\u2019t. I was 50+ years older, yet the same anxiety-ridden, prone-to-depression, fear-filled, tired person I had always been. Sometimes happier, sometimes sadder, sometimes more productive, sometimes less. But always, always, unsure of myself, my place in the world, my purpose.<\/p>\n High Sensitives like me\u2014like us\u2014can be really good at what we do. The thing is, we can be so filled with misgiving that we would rather stay anonymously in the background than stand out in the limelight. For example, I was happier to be praised for \u201cchanneling the messages<\/a>\u201d of others through writing than write material of my own\u2014to put my<\/em> name on the cover. To stay safe in a world where too much attention meant taking responsibility for the attention I might receive. The deep desire to be \u201cseen\u201d never surpasses our deeper need to stay hidden. Being discovered means being known for the fearful mess we can feel we are and are ashamed to be.<\/p>\n If any of this resonates with you, please know that the way ahead for you can be very different. You don\u2019t have to wait until you\u2019re 30 or 40 or 50 (the way I did) to feel inspired to live, and capable of living, a beautiful life.<\/p>\n Of course, my journey is not yours. Writing a book with your dead husband<\/a> after he\u2019s transitioned about forming a relationship with those on the other side of the veil may not be in the stars for you. The only reason I am here now communicating with you, the HSPs of the world, is to share that you are so much more than you give yourself credit for. You have so much more to offer the world than the world might acknowledge. Your talents and abilities are not only valid and valuable, but the very talents and abilities that keep the world in balance, keep it from going over to the dark side, and are the saving grace of all humanity.<\/p>\n Sure, it\u2019s a big statement, but I stand behind it.<\/p>\n With the incredible realizations and tools and techniques I have acquired along the way, however, I am no longer that person. The kernel of who I was remains, but instead of rotting away from neglect, it has happily blossomed into something, someone, authentic and alive and full of life.<\/p>\n No, it doesn\u2019t always happen all at once. It was more like the unraveling of a slow-moving epiphany than a Big Bang. Like the psychic octopus<\/a>: Learning that Heidi hadn\u2019t really existed at all, just the energy of other people who\u2019d been invited in to take residence in her mind, body, and spirit.<\/p>\n Like the UES: Learning that I had a Unique Energetic Signature<\/a> all my own\u2014that all I had to do was identify it, feel it, know it . . . live in it.<\/p>\n That\u2019s what I\u2019m here to share with you. The ideas in Elevating Your HSP-ness<\/em><\/strong><\/a> will knock your socks off. They will change your life. They will support you through thick and thin. They will really, really, REALLY shift the way you see yourself and the world. They will invite you to realize that you are, and have always been, perfect and perfectly positioned to shine a light in a world that needs it more than ever. A combination of all I have learned and been in my life\u2014the \u201cprofessorial\u201d element\u2014and all I have ever experienced spiritually and emotionally\u2014that has integrated into an identity I could never have imagined, into who I am today.<\/p>\n This bit of music from my healing guided collection<\/a> should help you do the same.<\/p>\n\nThe common traits of HSP-ism<\/em><\/h3>\n
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<\/a>Death changes everything<\/em><\/a><\/h3>\n
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The dark, dark night of the soul<\/em><\/h3>\n
On becoming high-functioning<\/h2>\n
What’s\u00a0 your journey?<\/em><\/h3>\n
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<\/a>Tools & techniques for the HSPs of the world–for YOU!<\/h2>\n