Understanding yourself as an HSP, a highly sensitive person

“It’s not about what the world thinks about you; it’s about how you think about yourself that counts.”

You’ve probably heard that before–that we’re not supposed to worry about what other people think. But, come on. Let’s be real. What is the world we live in saying to us every day in every way? That’s right. That we’re being judged.

It could be on anything: Our financial success, how big our house is, how thin we are, how smart we are. Pretty much anything.

But the thing about judgment by others is that their judgment is based on their own criteria. To some people a dollar might seem like a lot. To some, not worth picking up off the street.

So what do we do? We decide to look at the consensus. If “most people” agree that such and such is true, then it must be true.

• If most people agree curly hair is a drag, it must be.
• If most people think a house under 3,000 square feet is less than adequate, it must be.
• If most people agree that highly sensitive people are “too sensitive for their own good,” then it must be true.

I say . . . Bullshit.

We spend our whole lives looking for approval to prove our adequacy in the eyes of others. Some of this behavior makes sense in that we do live in the world and engage with other people, so it’s not as if we can go along dismissing all of society’s standards. Yet, on the other hand (such a handy expression), and from the point of view of an HSP, if you spend your time wishing the world would understand you, or even be interested in understanding you, you’re bound to be disappointed.

I have found that my sensitivities are really only interesting to one person: ME.

Yes, my friends and loved ones care about me and would not do anything to hurt me, but that doesn’t mean I need them or expect them to get my low pain threshold or my intolerance for the scent of perfume.

Which is why, once again, it’s only about whether I understand myself. With that said, there are different ways to go about “understanding yourself.”

1. You can delve deeper and deeper into your sensitivities in order to defend them.
2. You can delve deeper and deeper into your sensitivities in order to get other people to make things comfortable for you.
3. You can delve deeper and deeper into your sensitivities in order to be in the position to reject rather than give anyone else the opportunity to reject you first.

You could, however, go about understanding yourself in another way.

You could decide that what really matters is how you experience life. Do you feel joy? Do you feel free? Or are your closely held sensitivities keeping you captive? If they are, it’s time to flip the switch.

• Your sensitivities are the BEST thing about you, not the worst.
• Your sensitivities are what provide the guiding light for making empowered decisions.
• Your sensitivities are the spark for bringing you into conscious awareness.
• Your sensitivities invite you to go within to find your core alignment.
• Your sensitivities remind you that being in alignment with your authentic self (some might say your higher self) is the key.
• Your sensitivities are right there to remind you when you’re not in alignment by kicking you in the you-know-what.
• Your sensitivities are asking you to **amplify your vibration**, not send out your tentacles to attach to every other person, place, and thing in the environment.

“You’re not in alignment, Heidi,” says my sensitivities, “so get yourself back in alignment so you can feel comfortable, regardless of what’s going on around you.”

Gee. What a concept.